A Prayer For Gas and Other Small Stories

Friday afternoon: "Students! If you want to come to my church tomorrow, tell me now and i will pick you up in the morning!" Boom, 3 hands shot up.


As of Thursday afternoon we had at least 2 gallons of gas ($10.50 cha-ching) in our, the Datsun Cablight's Asian cousin, Suzuki mini truck. After an unexpected, last minute fruit run late Friday evening we were back at the now all too familiar and newly comfortable "E". Had i not been consumed with husking, cracking, grinding, and milking nearly 30 coconuts with Ryan (a 3+ hour project), the thought to buy more gas might have crossed my mind, but it didn't. Two gallons of gas should be more than enough to circle this island three or four times, right?


The SMUCS (Student Missionary Universal Charter Service) route was scheduled to take 30 minutes, max. After a "Come back in a few minutes", a quarter mile driveway walk (littered with dogs and puddles), and another no-go, we were 1 for 3 and already at the 45 minute mark. Anther 10 minutes later we'd snagged two more and headed back to grab our "come back later" kid. A full hour behind schedule we arrived safely, late for Sabbath school, and nearly out of gas.


Side note: Dogs here are the most confusing animals. They charge at you like a pack of starved lionesses, but the second you let out a (near silent) growl or bend down to "pick up a rock" they whimper and slink back home


The SMUCS ran three more trips that afternoon. Each time, the passengers and i prayed for the truck to have gas, and each time we made it back without any trouble. A quick assessment this morning shows a tank full of the Holy Spirit and some gasoline fumes.


Updates: River's birthday was yesterday, we ate cake for breakfast, ice cream and fried rice for lunch, and cake and homemade coconut ice cream for dinner (the 3 hours of milk harvesting were worth nearly every second). Today my armpits smell like coconut, i'm sweating coconut oil. The pact has been sealed, we will be "ripped, toned, and tan" by the end of our time here. The audience knows when you don't know the words to the song, no matter how hard you try to lip-sync with the rest of the youth. i had 3 women laughing, two students snickering, and one helpful mother whisper after, "I'll write the words out for you". We met a couple of the World Teach people, AMERICAN FRIENDS!


Never trust island time,

Tyler

Kosraean Non-Fables

"Hey God, i'm back. i've missed our surf sessions.* Thank you for giving me such a cool place to SM. i couldn't have asked for a more intimate and exotic place to talk to you." i quickly peaked through my used-to-be closed eyelids to check for a death wave headed my way. There, looming not 10 yards in front of me, was what i had dreaded; a 7 foot high wall of water itching to grate my freshly sunburnt back on the coral below. Not only was i sitting in too far to survive, housed in this monstrosity of a wave, floated none other than our local, friendly reef shark. My eyes slammed shut, "Oh, and God? I'd love to be alive in an hour for our mid-week meeting. Thanks."

i inhaled one last breath and watched as the shark, not inched, not crept, but forcefully charged towards me. i pushed hard down on the rails, gave a hard kick to the tail, and thrust my body into the board. The wall crested as i desperately tried to sneak under it. As the barrel collapsed, i felt the weight of a few hundred gallons of water slam on my heels. Missed it by || that much.

As i resurfaced i immediately scanned the water for my buddy. No where to be found. "Thank you for the wave save, can i get the same deal on the shark? My mom would NOT be thrilled with me showing up on her doorstep legless. Thanks." i pull my feet onto my board and sit criss-cross applesauce as my eye begins to twitch. With every splash the twitch gets worse. Half of my face begins to droop; falling a little more with every mini-stroke. i'm usually not afraid of sharks, but i couldn't tell if the ding on my heel was bloody or not: i like my limbs the way God made them.

As if sent by God (not just an expression in this case), the perfect wave was welling up in front of me. i slid the board down and began paddling for my life. As i began to stand up, i took one more glance down the face of the wave. Less than two feet under the surface of the water the coral glowed brightly, as if to say, "Fall, let me scratch that itch for you".  With the shark behind me and nothing but a 300 yard, creepy, ominous, and completely terrifying shallow paddle back, i dropped down the wave towards safety, uttering genuine thank yous the entire way back.

*will post a brief story/lesson tomorrow regarding a past experience


Updates: Stepping on a sea urchin hurts. The school picnic was a blast, i spent the day swimming with 60 of my favorite students. i had a birthday, thank you to everyone for the good wishes and packages! We have rats in the ceiling, mice in the kitchen, and roaches in the living room, tomorrow they die. Don't forget to put the SD card in your camera, no one likes watching that video footage. We have 4 weeks in a row of 4 day weeks, 3 down one to go. Sleep more

All animal pests die,

Tyler

Surreal Beauty

There i sat, on a tightly packed pontoon boat, in awe of The Milky Way reaching from horizon to horizon. As the lingering swells lulled me into a sleepy and unsuspecting dizzy haze, i struggled to focus on any one star. Maybe it was my need of glasses, or maybe the daunting task of choosing just one, but my eyes wandered from place to place in search of that one twinkling light that shone brightest. There are many "life" parallels that i could draw from this, but i'll leave that up to the reader's imagination.


As the moon began to peak over the horizon, i gazed at the palms leaning out over the sandy beaches. Inadequate dreams of waking up in your June calendar spread wafted through my head as i pulled my hammock over my face. The most surreal calm settled over me as i let my surroundings sink in; the kind of surreal calm you can't describe to anyone, not even to someone who was there with you.


i awoke to the faintest pitter-patter of rain falling on the leaves overhead. i longed for the lack of stars overhead to be just another dream, but off in the distance i could hear the ever too familiar sound of pouring rain headed our way. The cold drops made their way through my hammock and began methodically falling on my already goosebumped skin. I willed myself to fall back asleep, but was soon aroused by a violent gust of wind as the heavens were opened above me. My heart sank as i reluctantly lowered myself to the ground. As i ran across the beach, i paused to take in my surroundings. A lone lightning strike in the distance lit the beach just long enough for me to see the sheets of rain falling across the sand. Though partially hypothermic, i couldn't imagine a more beautiful scene to wake up to.



It's hard to imagine that in less than 24 hours, the exhaustion and monotony of my every day routine can turn into the most surreal experiences i've had in a long time (maybe the most surreal i've had in a days, but that's not the point).


Updates: Ben Howard is a musical genius, that man's voice is incredible. Trekking barefoot through the jungle in the middle of a monsoon using a machete to cut a trail and then climbing a coconut tree is most fun i've had in days. Yes i know i said we'd play a game next time, but i'm still getting together pictures for you. I'm actually excited about being evicted and having to live in a local house (the local house we stayed at in Walung was the perfect size for us). I had my first fleeting twinge of homesickness. When dealing with kids, always undersell yourself, it makes it easier to live up to and exceed their expectations that way (i don't suggest this for job interviews). Our second 2.5 bag of candy corn lasted an astounding 4 days.


Stay inspired,

Tyler

First-Third World Problems

Every blogger/missionary is entitled to one post where they complain about everything to gain pity from others. Here is mine:


My alarm didn't go off this morning. i had to make coffee during recess instead of before school
Our water is brown from the recent rain so i have no "clean" pants. i had to wear shorts instead
i put sugar in my coffee for the first time here. i over sweetened
i had a discipline issue that took up half of my lunch time. i had to eat during my free period instead
We are a living RedBox to the locals. i spent my free period summarizing and transferring movies
My 40 minute free period went by too quick. i had to eat my ramen before it cooled all the way
i asked a student for a word with the sound "OH" in it. They replied "umbrella"
i asked he next student for a word with the sound "UH" in it. They replied "open"
We made hummus and bread yesterday and left the bowls sit overnight. It was my turn to do dishes
i drove to the store for a rice and toilet paper. We forgot toilet paper
We found oranges at a roadside "half-opened-can" (aluminum shanty) AKA store. They are green 
While we were out, we stopped at the Post Office. No packages
The waves were big so i went surfing. The wind was blowing and the waves weren't glassy smooth
Heavy rain clogs the water debris filter. My shower was like a man with prostate issues peeing on me
i headed to the bathroom to think. River yelled "don't forget a napkin" (remember, no TP?)
i forgot the napkin. i wiped with soggy toilet paper instead (rain came in the window last night)
The Pastor's wife gave us fried fish and boiled bananas for dinner. The fish tasted too fishy






Updates: We have no toilet paper


With love and satire,
Tyler

Living

i've strayed and i've wandered; i've written for others rather than for myself. No more games, no more fluff.


The routine has set in. Life is "normal" now: less discovery, less excitement, less curiosity. Rather than experiencing, my mindset has shifted toward the desire to learn. No longer am i enamored with fried banana blossoms or the way the locals clear land. Instead, i want to find out how to do it for myself. i'm not visiting anymore, i'm living.


Since i've missed some things, i'll do a brief overview to trigger my memories:
PTA meeting: president talked forever, parents said nothing
Stingrays: within touching distance
Sharks:  spotted fins 4/5 nights i was out
Oci: he was sent back to kindergarten, parents got mad, had long conversation, now in 1st grade again
Mt Okat: this 1,526 ft mountain has been added to my life bucket list, will need gear to summit
Electrocution: our stove has a short in the element, we get zapped daily
Birthday party: i have over 75 no-see-em bites on my feet
New truck: automatic transmission stuck in sport mode, revs to the moon
Bread: made our first loaves of island bread
God is all powerful: surfing alone is my favorite place to pray. As i asked God how His week was going, the biggest wave i've seen in a long time broke right next to me. i'll take that as a "I'm fine, thanks for asking"



Next blog will be great; we'll play a game. i'm calling it: "Interesting International Ingredients"



Updates: Ryan learned what what the reef feels like on your back, i learned what its like to clean it. Coconuts are STILL addicting. Iced coffee is a blessing. A pig being slaughtered is a horrifying sound. You attract more flies with honey than vinegar (this applies to parents too). There is a large animal/rodent living in our ceiling (large rat or small cat?). The Jags are having a rough season, but a conference title is still possible (and so is a manned trip to Mars). i'm turning 22 next week, i'm taking out life insurance. Most of the parents think that we are trained teachers (what they don't know is that i don't even have a school curriculum let alone any elementary education training).


If you have another SM's blog that you read, please share it with me. I enjoy hearing about other people's experiences. River is also blogging about our experience on Kosrae. You can read that here.


Thank you for your prayers and reading,

Tyler

Impossible to Fail

After much thought and introspection (3 cups of coffee before bed and the clock at nearly 4am doesn't hurt), here is a painful and heartfelt blog post.

Test week. "The tests designed to be impossible to fail"


Writing test: Those who wrote their alphabet passed and those who did not, failed (the alphabet is written in the board and was pointed at many times throughout the test). The passing grades were then determined based on fine motor skills and attention to detail.

Science test:
Question one - make a COW sound
Question two - draw a circle
Question three - draw a rectangle
Question four - draw a triangle


Bible test: Draw the burning bush that Moses saw in the wilderness (among other drawings)

Language test: write any letter you recognize.....the word is "basket, bah, aaaa, ssss, k, eeeee, t"

Math test: 2 + 2 =   and   6 - 2 = (these proved to be too hard for my students so the answer was then worked out on the board and left there for the duration of the test)



After two days of testing, 50% of my class will be returning tomorrow to retake a test in which they utterly failed. Two students will be sent back to kindergarten (thus is the consequence of sending your 5-year-old to first grade). No test was spared from a student's ability to fail, yet, all 5 tests were also aced by at least two students.




Updates and Advice: A parent's involvement in their child's learning makes all the difference. Don't drink lots of coffee before bed. 5 pounds of candy corn will only last a few days in a house of compulsive snackers (2 pounds have already been consumed in the last 8 hours). The post office closes whenever it wants, not when the sign on the door says it closes. Hot sauce doesn't make very good fake blood, use ketchup instead. Poverty cheese can grow legs and walk. The BBC Sherlock is brilliant, watch it immediately. Rare but genuine compliments are appreciated more than frequent and insincere ones (genuine and semi-frequent are good too: keyword "semi"). Coconut is addicting. Bigger isn't always better, unless it's a fish and it's your dinner. We're still bad at fishing.



Good night/morning/afternoon/evening,

Tyler

The Simple Life

A lot has happened in the past two weeks, yet i still sit here blankly staring at a white and empty screen unsure of what to write about as i kill my fifth flying termite. Meanwhile River is commenting on how dark his bellybutton hair is and Ryan is listening to cows and sheep on Age of Empires. It's a simple life that we lead here.

We've begun to number our reoccurring conversations to save ourselves from that awkward "i think we had this conversation two nights ago" comment. Anything related to Guam is "convo 1" while Canadian bands have been affectionately named "convo 2". And now we're at 7 dead termites. Such a simple life.

In fact, life couldn't get more simple. i wake up with the sun in my eyes, roll out of bed, make a "Tasty Bread -- Mechanically Sliced!" PB&J, stumble to staff worship, start class whenever the bell decides to ring, spend my day frustrated and confused as to how you fail a spelling test with a word bank provided, pass out exhausted, wake up and spend the afternoon at the beach, make beans and rice (River makes rice in the afternoon) for dinner, and repeat. This doesn't mean that our days aren't exciting, but just very simple.

Speaking of excitement, it was put to a vote (silent and unspoken, but still a vote) that the ocean is the most terrifying place on our planet, day or night. Fishing last week i could not figure out where all of the fish had disappeared to. It wasn't me, i wasn't moving. Fed up i turned around to find a better spot. As i turned, there was, 10ft in front of me, a 5-6ft long (yes the water magnifies things and that has been taken into account for this very accurate measurement) black tipped reef shark who had been following me. So THAT'S where the fish went. Much satisfied that it wasn't me who had been scaring the fish i decided to chase the shark. Being the superior human being that i am, he quickly out swam me and was no where to be found. i'm convinced that as he was running he secreted a "fear virus" into the water that i managed to soak up, because the next morning i was decrepit and in bed with a fever (and then the next day and the next and the next as well). One week later and i have regained 5 of the 8 pounds i lost and am caught up on all 4.5 hours of grading.

In other news, the Kosrae government is still open and running fine. Along those lines, i just drank the greatest coconut, until i cracked it open to find out that half of the fruit was rotten and fermented. oops *hic* no wonder it was so good. This paragraph is not political in any way.


And now for the beloved "updates" paragraph:  Surfing at low tide is bad, scraping your toes across the rocks while paddling for a wave hurts.  We are bad fishermen as demonstrated by our machete fishing attempt tonight (River and i caught one each while the locals caught 20+ each). Peanut butter, cold cereal, coffee, and trail mix is cheaper on amazon than on the island (it's $4.50 for a loaf of that "Tasty Bread" and $6 for a box of raisin bran). You can never have too many green tangerines in your fridge, while, one slice of poverty cheese in your fridge will always be too much. Poverty cheese grows and multiplies. Our vegetable seeds (still in their packets) have neither grown nor multiplied. There is a such thing as a 4ft long aquarium fish, i've seen it with my own eyes, and about peed my pants i was so scared (i chased it too, but it disappeared very much like the shark). And finally, don't make plans for your 12 day Christmas break, the youth Christmas program will be scheduled dead in the middle of it.

Enjoy and Happy Sabbath,

Tyler