Impossible to Fail

After much thought and introspection (3 cups of coffee before bed and the clock at nearly 4am doesn't hurt), here is a painful and heartfelt blog post.

Test week. "The tests designed to be impossible to fail"


Writing test: Those who wrote their alphabet passed and those who did not, failed (the alphabet is written in the board and was pointed at many times throughout the test). The passing grades were then determined based on fine motor skills and attention to detail.

Science test:
Question one - make a COW sound
Question two - draw a circle
Question three - draw a rectangle
Question four - draw a triangle


Bible test: Draw the burning bush that Moses saw in the wilderness (among other drawings)

Language test: write any letter you recognize.....the word is "basket, bah, aaaa, ssss, k, eeeee, t"

Math test: 2 + 2 =   and   6 - 2 = (these proved to be too hard for my students so the answer was then worked out on the board and left there for the duration of the test)



After two days of testing, 50% of my class will be returning tomorrow to retake a test in which they utterly failed. Two students will be sent back to kindergarten (thus is the consequence of sending your 5-year-old to first grade). No test was spared from a student's ability to fail, yet, all 5 tests were also aced by at least two students.




Updates and Advice: A parent's involvement in their child's learning makes all the difference. Don't drink lots of coffee before bed. 5 pounds of candy corn will only last a few days in a house of compulsive snackers (2 pounds have already been consumed in the last 8 hours). The post office closes whenever it wants, not when the sign on the door says it closes. Hot sauce doesn't make very good fake blood, use ketchup instead. Poverty cheese can grow legs and walk. The BBC Sherlock is brilliant, watch it immediately. Rare but genuine compliments are appreciated more than frequent and insincere ones (genuine and semi-frequent are good too: keyword "semi"). Coconut is addicting. Bigger isn't always better, unless it's a fish and it's your dinner. We're still bad at fishing.



Good night/morning/afternoon/evening,

Tyler