i'd awoken that morning sweating profusely, head pounding, body aching. My low grade fever from the day before had progressed to a full on raging inferno. i got up to turn on the fan; no electricity. For eight hours i lay awake, drenched in sweat, unable to find comfort and rest.
The congregation closed their evening worship with "How Great Thou Art", and i sat, slumped weakly outside, shivering as the cool breeze passed by me, feeling too sick to join them. As i sat there, i intently watched three geckos methodically catch insects as they flew towards the light on the front of the church. It was a curious thing. Not a single insect that flew into that light came out alive. No longer masked by the darkness of night, the light illuminated the bugs as they flew closer to the tin roof entrance. Without fail, the winged fiend would take a kamikaze dive bomb straight for the awaiting tongue of the the geckos below.
The simplicity of the gecko's life intrigued me. Their sole purpose in life is to eat, poop, and have offspring. How nice it seemed to not have the worries of being a human. i was envious. They didn't have to worry about sickness, or the hours of grading they'd procrastinated on. There was no church infighting or competition to deal with, no long worship meetings, no lesson plans to be made, no laundry, dishes, or housework. It was black and white simple.
The longer i sat, however, the less i desired their lives. The simplicity i craved came at a price, one that i'm not willing to pay. While i was procrastinating on grading, i was out surfing, snorkeling, camping, paddle boarding on Christmas day, climbing the tallest mountain in Micronesia, getting SCUBA certified, and paddle boarding fifteen miles around part of the island. While i worry about the church's interpersonal struggles, i get to hear their natural born talent of singing filling the church. Making lesson plans is in preparation of having my students back again, and the chores are something i'll take for granted in a few weeks as our house is torn down and rebuilt. The complications we face are the price we pay for having the enjoyment of life. To lead a life on autopilot defeats the purpose of enjoying the world that was created for me. As much as i'd like for my "hardships" to go away, i'll gladly keep them around if it means that i can continue exploring and adventuring through life.
Updates: i'm sick, yay. SO MANY PACKAGES, SO MUCH SUGAR. i picked up seven boxes today and we had twelve boxes a few days ago, thank you to everyone who has taken their time and money to send us something. Surf here was triple overhead a few weeks ago, on a completely unrelated swell size, i got my first barrel of the year. i'd also like to thank a guy named Jake for giving me his surfboard, thanks Jake. While many of you enjoyed a white Christmas, we enjoyed the ever predictable 88 degrees and sunny, best gift ever? Our church is suffering from family feuding (partly cultural? mostly each family just wants their family to benefit the most), prayers for them please. School starts Monday, is it weird that i'm excited? Only five months left, time is about to fly. The builder is scheduled to arrive in just 17 days!
Please share my blog with your friends, Kosrae is relatively unknown and we'd love to get the word out! Also, i've added an email subscription box on the right side of the page so you can be informed by email when i post an update! ---->
Live complicated,
Tyler
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